Modeling body positivity for our kids // Columbus, Ohio family photographer
Feeling shame about our bodies is unfortunately one aspect of modern life in America that virtually all of us will experience. I know I have over and over again, and spent much of my youth obsessing over appearances. When I think about it now, I feel a bit rage-y over the time and energy I devoted to thinking negatively about my body when I could have been creating, learning, making new friends, doing any number of more important things.
Ageing has granted me the freedom to no longer care how my outward appearance is perceived, and to cultivate gratitude for all my body has done for me. But how can we model body positivity for our kids, so that we can hopefully lessen the negative impacts of outward pressure to fit in to a certain beauty standard and teach them to love themselves before they hit 40?
Cultivate gratitude and teach them to do the same
Lately I’ve been starting my mornings with a brief meditation, where I cover a set list of mindfulness activities including listing the things I’m grateful for ABOUT MYSELF. This has been so eye-opening to me, as I’m the type of person who deflects compliments (sorry - I’m working on it!) and has a hard time recognizing my good qualities. But I find that nearly every morning I include a little thanks to my body. Probably because I’m usually out on a walk while I’m meditating. It’s changing the way I think about my body and allowing me to notice the things I DO like about myself, instead of nit-picking the things I don’t like. So ask your kids, “What’s one thing your body was able to do today that you’re grateful for?”
Celebrate all bodies
Take a look at the humans that are represented in your home. I’m talking about people in the books, magazines, shows you watch, etcetera. Be mindful that your kids are absorbing AND NORMALIZING everything they see and read. Make an effort to bring in media that includes a wide-range of body types, skin colors, nationalities, sizes, gender expression, etc. Seeing someone in a positive light that your child can relate to is both validating and inspiring.
For the love of all things good in this world PLEASE don’t criticize your body in front of them. Bite your dang tongue.
This seems fairly self-explanatory but easy to forget, since we do it internally and almost reflexively. Just don’t. They are listening.
Self portrait
Look, I am by no means an expert on this topic (aside from actively trying to shed decades of cultural brainwashing to ascribe to some unachievable standard of beauty on a daily basis), but it’s something I consider often and I’m guessing you do too. In fact, one of the top concerns I hear from photo clients is their worry that they are lacking in some way or that they’ll be captured in an unflattering manner. But here’s the thing: your kids know you are perfect, right now. They know you are beautiful. Your LOVE FOR THEM is part of what’s so beautiful, and I promise we’ll capture loads of it. Be a good roll model for them and allow your beauty to be celebrated, and captured, and remember who the photos are truly for anyways: them.
Are you nervous about getting in front of the camera? Let’s talk about it in a quick, no-pressure/no-commitment chat. Contact me to schedule.
